Scary Honesty

Happy weekend friends! What are the plans? Nick and I are heading to Sandpoint ID this weekend to relax and hopefully pick some huge bags of blueberries! 

There are so many things bopping around in my head I am forcing myself to word vomit it all out right now. I brought our Mac desktop into the living room to write because the natural light flooding in was too good to miss. One thing I am really excited to share is some ongoing website reconstruction. I love seeing the site progress. Even in a little less than a year a lot has changed, and also a lot has not happened that I wish had... but good things take time! So if you haven't already, take a look around, there's new aesthetic overall and content. 

Making this little logo with one of my best friends and talking with my trainer has gotten me thinking about what I really want this website and blog's purpose to be. I decided on the ocean picture for the logo background because it's my safe place. I don't get to go nearly enough, but every time I am sitting on the edge of a beach or bulkhead, starting at the endlessness of ocean waters, my heart and soul are completely filled with peace. My cup overflows and tears are usually brought to my eyes because I just praise God for His beautiful works. It amazes me! The ocean is one of my simple joys, so it seemed fitting. A while ago I wrote a post about my love for the ocean and some Hawaii reflections >>here<<. 

I launched my site last November without really having a solid idea for what I wanted it to be. One thing I do know for sure is that I wanted to share life and be authentically honest, and (hopefully) relatable. I think on my blog I can tend to be really positive, which is great! But I also want to be real. I'm not always super happy and peppy. I don't even consider myself a peppy person. I'd say I'm snarcastic- sassy and sarcastic in one. More often than not you can find me on an emotional roller coaster haha. It feels like there's always some sort of stress or anxiety happening in the back burner of my mind and heart, which I've realized is one reason for creating this site.

This website is not just for sharing pretty art or pictures, it's a place to document my own journey and hopefully help and encourage others on a similar one. A journey dealing with anxiety, finding peace + confidence in myself, creating a holistic lifestyle, and feeling balanced overall. That's why I added my >>essential oils<< section because it has been a HUGE contributor to my emotional well being and finding inner peace. Check it out if you haven't already!

I know there is a big part of me that is really scared to be completely honest here. For one, I just don't have to be. I literally don't have to post or share anything with any of you who read my blog. But I want to! I crave community and building relationships and I believe this blog is one way to do that. So thank you for reading, I love you and appreciate it so much :)

So yes, it's scary as hell to be honest here because it also means I'm being really honest with myself (and sometimes that can be even harder). It's hard to face certain things, but I believe from struggles and hardships beautiful growth blossoms. I definitely don't want to be a person who settles or remains stagnant through life. 

Something hard for me to share is over the past few years I  have cut myself off socially due to insecurities + anxieties. I am so sick of feeling that way- missing out on life and missing friends. That's how I knew I needed to find a way out of that dark place. Anyone else ever felt that way? I'm on a positive path now. Learning to love myself and love the process of discovering that good place. I've got a personal trainer and am also (terrifyingly) training for a half marathon! More than just the physical changes that will inevitably come, this is truly about the mental process. I don't think I'm alone in feeling low self-esteem or self-love. This past year of teaching I preached to my kids (especially my girls) to love themselves, be proud of who they are now, and not worry about what other people think. But I wasn't even practicing what I preached! That will be different this next year. 

All this to say, I'm in a good place within the process, and am happy to share honesty and bits and pieces from this journey. Don't ever be scared to reach out to me if you want to talk or ever have questions. I want to be open and be here for my readers. Thanks for stopping by as always. 

xoxo Sarah | SJBS